Summary
- Release Year: 1987
- Genres: Adventure
- Platforms: Amstrad CPC, Commodore C64/128/MAX, ZX Spectrum
- Developers: Sentient Software Inc.
- Publishers: Virgin Games
How to Be a Complete Bastard (1987): A Retrogaming Classic
Introduction
How to Be a Complete Bastard is a unique and hilarious game released in 1987 for the ZX Spectrum. Based on the cult ‘alternative comedian’ Ade Edmondson’s book of the same name, the game challenges you to be the most offensive and obnoxious guest at a party. With its multiple rooms, split-screen view, and attention to detail, it’s a must-play for fans of retro gaming and British comedy.
Gameplay
The game is played from a first-person perspective. You control your character, a yobbish and immature party crasher, as you explore a house full of sophisticated and well-behaved guests. Your goal is to prove to all 16 guests that you are a complete bastard.
To do this, you must perform a variety of awful actions, such as:
- Burping and farting
- Spitting on people
- Stealing food and drink
- Insulting the guests
- Vomiting on the floor
The game keeps track of your progress by displaying a “bastardometer” on the screen. The more awful actions you perform, the higher your bastardometer will rise. Once your bastardometer reaches 100%, you will have successfully proven yourself to be a complete bastard.
Rooms
The house in How to Be a Complete Bastard is divided into several rooms, each of which is filled with objects that can be used to perform awful actions. For example, the kitchen contains food and drink that you can steal and throw at people, while the bathroom contains a toilet that you can use to relieve yourself in inappropriate places.
The rooms can all be viewed from multiple angles, and two can be viewed at a time through a split-screen view. This allows you to plan your actions carefully and avoid being caught by the guests.
Characters
There are 16 different guests in How to Be a Complete Bastard, each with their own unique personality and quirks. Some of the guests are more tolerant of your bad behavior than others, so it’s important to learn who you can get away with being awful to.
The guests include:
- A snooty art critic
- A pompous politician
- A wealthy socialite
- A shy and awkward teenager
- A drunken party animal
Controls
How to Be a Complete Bastard is controlled using the ZX Spectrum’s keyboard. The following keys are used to perform actions:
- Cursor keys: Move your character around the screen
- Space bar: Interact with objects
- Q: Burp
- W: Fart
- E: Spit
- R: Insult
- T: Vomit
Graphics and Sound
The graphics in How to Be a Complete Bastard are simple but effective. The characters are all drawn in a cartoonish style, and the environments are colorful and detailed. The game’s sound effects are also well done, and they help to create a lively and immersive atmosphere.
Legacy
How to Be a Complete Bastard was a critical and commercial success when it was first released. It was praised for its originality, humor, and attention to detail. The game has since been ported to a number of other platforms, including the BBC Micro, Commodore 64, and Amstrad CPC.
How to Be a Complete Bastard is still enjoyed by retro gamers today. It is considered to be one of the best examples of British humor in gaming, and it is a must-play for fans of the genre.
Conclusion
How to Be a Complete Bastard is a unique and hilarious game that challenges you to be the most offensive and obnoxious guest at a party. With its multiple rooms, split-screen view, and attention to detail, it’s a must-play for fans of retro gaming and British comedy.
Review Score
7/10
